My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So here I am, sexting at work.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
