whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
