Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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