My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
