You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
