I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
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