my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
