chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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