I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
