This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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