I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
