didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
