I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
