I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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