i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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