i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize