Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
