come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
