I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
