I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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