Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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