Pappa wants mamma naked
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Who died my cat blue again?
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