The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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