about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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