He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
