i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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