How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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