I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
