i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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