apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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