I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Its about making memories worth repressing
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
