she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
