i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
At least make sure they are 18
Why
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
