So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
