I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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