you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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