Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
