So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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