There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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