I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Panties = found
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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