tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
