Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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