Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
