OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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