I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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