I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
