Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
