I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
