Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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