apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
