Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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