Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
