Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
