She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
