I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
