I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
