as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
