Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
