So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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