Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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