Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
