they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
