i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Sponge bath it is.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
