Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
