Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
