I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
