I bet he comes in French.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize
