make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
