my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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