I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize