i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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