singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I love you. Go after that dick
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
