Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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