I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
