can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Farmville is her only friend.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize