You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He felt like a one man threesome
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
