i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
