let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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