Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
