could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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